Changes

The [[wish ]] for a [[baby ]] is one of the [[fantasies ]] of [[childhood]], part of the set of significant motifs transmitted to the [[child ]] unbeknownst to its [[parents ]] along with the [[biological ]] "breath of [[life]]" (Bydlowski, 1978), and that evolves in conjunction with [[individual ]] [[libidinal ]] [[development]]. It is marked by the [[Oedipus ]] [[complex]], by kinship relationships, by [[family ]] experiences of [[death ]] and [[mourning]]. In [[Freud]]'s account, the [[woman]]'s "wish to possess a [[penis ]] is normally transformed into a wish for a baby" (1933a [1932], p. 101). The wish for a baby is superimposed, [[repressed]], or revived in different forms at different [[times ]] of life.

From the [[oral ]] [[stage]], the wish for a baby inherits the urge to destroy the [[mother]]'s [[body ]] entirely, including her belly and everything in it. From the [[anal ]] stage—inclined to [[control ]] and revenge—comes the theme of the stolen baby, used to try and compensate for the loneliness of the child confronted by the parental couple. Both the little [[girl ]] and the little boy long for the [[power]], at once marvelous and [[uncanny]], to have a child: an [[imaginary ]] child, manipulable at first anally, then mentally (Soulé, 1982). The boy must in due course [[renounce ]] this wish, whether by means of [[displacement ]] or [[sublimation]], of [[repression]], or of reaction-[[formations ]] ranging from the [[ritual ]] of couvade to the [[disavowal ]] of [[paternity]], or even beyond, to [[delusion ]] and [[paranoia ]] (Soulé, 1982).

The wish for a child is also relevant to [[narcissism]]. An [[ideal ]] child, issuing from an ideal mother, is the equivalent of the penis for the mother whom it fulfils. With no [[third ]] person to come between mother and baby, there is no corresponding [[denial ]] of the anal, [[aggressive ]] function of [[the imaginary ]] child. On the [[oedipal ]] level, for the girl, the child is a product of [[incest]], obtained from the [[father ]] without the mother's [[knowledge ]] and in [[rivalry ]] with her.

Maria Torok ([[1968]]) relates the wish for a child in its [[narcissistic ]] [[dimension ]] to death and mourning: "The wish for a child can be [[understood ]] as a denial of the [[loss ]] of a part of oneself."

See also: Pregnancy, [[fantasy ]] of; [[Female ]] [[sexuality]]; Penis [[envy]].[[Bibliography]]